Editorial #12 – Convention Can Suck My Left One
Bateszi’s new Afterimage, a rather robust example of the recent spat of microblogging in the community, made me consider why these microblogs exist. The reason is easily presumed: convention. Bloggers, especially those who have been around for a while, feel that their main blog has a set of conventions – ones that relate to the writing style and content themselves and others that relate to the supposed expectations of outside sources (i.e. readership). These standards become all the more exacting as the blog grows in age; as they home into what’s popular, what suits them as a writer and perhaps most importantly, what fits into the perceived identity of the blog itself. These unconscious dictums at once help the blogger build a distinct character for their blog but equally stifle and repress any desire to stray from the formula.
These microblogs, then, seem to exist independently from the main blogs because they don’t fit within these prescribed conventions. But while IKnight and Owen’s microblogs are perhaps more a practical example of wanting to quickly log thoughts as they happen, Bateszi’s new blog suggests someone that feels trapped by the expectations he has of himself and what he perceives others to expect of him. The formers are a practical solution to lapses in memory (often acting as annotations for future ‘legitimate’ blog entries) while the latter seems more in turmoil over what his main blog has become and how it doesn’t necessarily suit him as a blogger anymore.
I sympathise with Bateszi. My place in the community isn’t as notable as his, so the outside pressure he may feel isn’t the same for me, but it is the same in how my self-imposed expectations have limited my methods of communication. Often I’ve read a blog that has said something in an interesting way, yet I discount it as unsuitable for my own. The reason? It just wouldn’t suit the bizarrely indistinct set of conventions I’ve made for myself over the years. I honestly have no idea where they’ve come from – perhaps a desire to maintain a level of quality in my writing – but their constraints are surprisingly acute. But why can’t a brief three line thought on a show be just as communicative as five hundred words? Sometimes saying ‘I like it because it’s awesome’ really is enough, but overcoming that nagging feeling inside that shakes its head, saying that isn’t enough, it isn’t productive, is nigh impossible.
So many times I’ve become so flustered with my inability to overcome these perceived conventions that I’ve wanted to do what Bateszi has done: start again and be free of the bullshit that doesn’t actually exist outside my head. And this is the important point: it doesn’t exist where it actually matters. If I suddenly turned this blog into a microblog that was nothing more than brief brainfarts on what I thought was interesting then my readership wouldn’t abandon me, accuse me of laziness. Some might even say its an improvement over the convoluted mess I usually churn out. Bateszi’s Afterimage is particularly comprehensive in what he reflects on, too. So much so that if he just posted those reflections on his main blog then people would receive them with the same appreciation and respect as they always have done. But the blogging identity Bateszi has formed, a product of that shaping convention, means he can’t. It’s a complete bitch and something I wholly relate to. I suppose in writing this editorial I want myself and others that feel trapped by it to be free and do whatever the hell they want. Expectations, perceived or otherwise, mean nothing when we do this for fun. Blog in a manner that suits you, that makes you happy. Fuck the rest.
May 18th, 200812:26 pm at
I’ll get back to you … on a full-fledged post, as I’ve promised. :)
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May 18th, 200812:59 pm at
>>start again and be free…
I actually did try to make a newer, more serious blog, but it ended up abandoned because I forgot about it after about 2 posts. And I’ve had recurring thoughts of starting anew but then I’ve never been brave enough to do that.
In a way I guess it’s also a blessing in disguise my blog isn’t popular. There’s not much pressure like the one you mentioned. ^_^;
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May 18th, 20081:03 pm at
…you’re speaking to the guy who refuses to be bound to conventions.
I do editorials, trolling, wacky fanboyish episode reviews, random imagespam, sermons(yeth it be true), the works.
Though I haven’t tried the comic yet. That should prove fun should I get a tablet PC.
And I don’t give a fig as to what the community thinks, either.
If Owen posted his little snips in his normal blog it still wouldn’t change the fact that he’s a spiteful, self-centered bastard. IKnight has something insightful to say, whether it be snips or giant walls of text.
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May 18th, 20082:25 pm at
The ‘microblog’ that’s built into the MAL profiles is a really handy thing – I was so inspired by what IKnight and Owen did with theirs that I started making use of my own. It’s more of a notepad for idle thoughts than a bona fide blog; that is, I spill out a couple of lines right off the bat after watching an episode, for reference purposes and use them as starting points for full articles. I became disallusioned with the rigidity of episodic blogging long ago but these microblog posts are like post-it notes – the difference being I always have trouble keeping track of post-it notes so the micro-blog is a very recent but invaluable thing for me when going through Pre-Publishing Blog Post Hell.
I can sympathise with the problem of reader expectations too. I don’t exactly have a large readership (it feels like I’m reading out loud in a small seminar group rather than a packed lecture theatre, if that makes any sense at all) but I’ve set an MO for myself that gives my blog its identity but at the same time restricts me from trying anything new. The AUKN group blog gives me an alternative outlet but I’ve long been looking for a solution of my own. Bateszi’s done great things with Afterimage but I’ve had a vague idea as to how to address this problem in my own way. *scratches chin* yeah, I’ll get back to you on that one.
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May 18th, 20082:41 pm at
Good point and I actually agree with you on most parts, so I didn’t even want to comment here. However, I would like to mention that I read nobody’s mini-blogs, not even Martin’s and that says something. Hmmm…
PS. Also, you guys’ mini-blogs sound like my normal blog, should I be worried?
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May 18th, 20084:48 pm at
[...] wrote a well-thought and concise editorial here. He observes the spread of microblogging among more prominent members of the anime blog-sphere, and [...]
May 18th, 20085:23 pm at
I like how Drm takes every chance he can get to continue his smear campaign (by slinging dirtballs made up of his faeces, tears, and grey matter, I’d reckon) like it was going out of fashion. Anyway.
While I do agree that I’ve occasionally fallen into the trap of convention that you’ve mentioned, explaining my MAL blog is pretty easy — I’ve always wanted little asides that could be integrated into my main blog, and MAL fit the bill very nicely. All the credit goes to IKnight for inspiration.
I’m just wondering if this dilemma of “How I think I should be writing” can be reconciled with “Why I started this blog”, because frankly, whenever I don’t think that I’ll be able to compose a post of good-enough standards, it’s not the standards that the public has of me, whatever it is, as I’ve never cared enough about public opinion while writing — I’m doing it because I started my blog with the desire to be a catalyst for provoking thought, and if I feel I’m not up to scratch, it’s because I don’t meet my own standards more than anything else, i.e. a post that even I wouldn’t be caught dead reading.
In other words, it’s not that I think that I’ll be doing my reputation a disservice when I write something that deviates from the norm. I’m doing myself a disservice by not giving my readers any less, when I could be doing more. So when a post doesn’t come, it doesn’t come, and I’ve found that the chances of me burning out are nil as a result. I never blog when it’s not fun to do so.
But this is really the same side of a different coin. I appreciate quality in writing and criticise the lack of it, the death of thought, and the advent of pretentiousness. Assuming I wrote a post that lacked finesse, was free of any logic and reasoning whatsoever, and decided to toot my horn on facetious matters I’ve previously deemed unworthy of my time when judging other posts, I’d be a hypocrite, and all my criticism for naught.
So I have those standards because I don’t have double standards. Funny how that works out.
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May 18th, 20085:44 pm at
Manual *back-thingy to my miniblog.
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May 18th, 20086:43 pm at
@Mike: I’ve read your post and will comment ASAP.
@hayase: I think it’s quite a universal feeling to have, the desire to start again — especially if you’re frustrated with what you’re currently doing. And psh to your supposed anonymity; I’m certain countless people know and read your posts.
@Drm: I wouldn’t argue with you on any of these points at all – your blog is a good example of the freestyle I (generally) think we should all be open to. Just keep the Owen sniping to IRC etc please. :3
@Martin: Your post-it note analogy is a good one – microblogs for the anime blogging community seem very much to be for the author’s benefit; a tool of sorts to help them rather than cater to a particular audience. You aren’t likely to hand in a collection of post-it notes for your class essay, for instance. I was like you when I saw how well it worked for IKnight and Owen – I considered a Twitter-based equivalent, but the more I thought about it the more defiant I felt. The question ‘Why does it have to be separate from here?’ spurred me on to write this. I still don’t have a solid conclusion.
@Sasa: You’re right in how it says something about the relationships between external parties and the microblogs, but I think it’s important to remember that they exist foremost for the authors themselves. Whether other people read them or not doesn’t appear to be a major concern.
@Owen: Personal standards are something IKnight discusses in his response post and it’s something I didn’t expand upon in the editorial. I agree that what we expect from ourselves is as strong, if not stronger, in its influence of the final result. What you describe is the exact process I go through when I write/publish my entries. What I wanted to consider here is how that self-motivation is influenced by external factors. For pig-headed types like you and me external influence isn’t much of an issue, but in some cases it seems to cripple the blogger.
@IKnight: Read and will respond on your blog.
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May 18th, 200810:14 pm at
[...] worhtlessly… something else…: Andrew wrote a well-thought and concise editorial here. He observes the spread of microblogging among more prominent members of the anime blog-sphere, and [...]
May 18th, 200810:17 pm at
You’ve got me, Hige, in that a lot of what you’ve written here echoes how I’ve felt, deep down, for a while now. As you’ve pointed out, a lot of it is in my head. There is a part of me that’s always insisting that what I post has to be detailed and challenging, and I’ve lost almost entire days in pursuit of that perfect sentence. It’s hard work, soul-sapping and ridiculous. Don’t get me wrong, I love writing and my readers, but at some point, it became too hard for me to just sit down and type away. I’m not like IKnight or Owen, I don’t write drafts and take notes, just like I don’t have any qualification in English beyond a GCSE grade. If I started writing something for my anime blog right now (10:30pm), it wouldn’t be finished ’till well past 1:30am. Most of the time, I’m winging it, evolving as a writer as I write.
I could have tried doing ‘Afterimage’ on my regular anime blog, but there is, for me, way too much ‘heat’. That might be imagined ‘heat’, but it’s just as potent. I don’t want to let anyone down. I’ve never been good at dealing with expectation, and with ‘Afterimage’, I’m totally free again, but thinking about it, it’s just like a change of clothes or a new hair-cut, I’m still the same person. This is all starting to sound like I’ve given up on ‘Bateszi Anime Blog’, I haven’t at all, I’m just always searching for that meaning in what I’m doing.
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May 18th, 200810:25 pm at
I think for me it helped initially define my blog as a series of ramblings about anything anime , which adds a bit more flexibility to what I can right and how I can write. At the same time, that’s also a bit constraining in that I fee like I have to randomize things up every once in a while if I write a group “same types” of posts in my blog. But truth be told, it really shouldn’t matter that much to me as it has been. :P
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May 18th, 200811:25 pm at
I’m probably not handling the Owen thing very well I admit. Hate directed to you like a sabot round into a crack of your M1 Abrams is very hard to cope with.
Still, if anyone feels he’s trapped by convention, he or she really needs to forcibly change styles. Familiarity breeds contempt. Hardwired patterns and etc but that’s going too deep into psychology.
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May 18th, 200811:39 pm at
@Bateszi: Let me say that I’m relieved at your reply. I meant this post as a form of support but the more I thought about it the more it started to seem judgmental/exposing. Nonetheless, I do understand your decision and it isn’t necessarily a bad one. As long as you’re writing then people can appreciate your perceptive, emotive thoughts; where it’s written ultimately doesn’t matter. Also: fuck academic qualifications. When has that ever made someone worth reading a good writer? Experience is what’s fundamental; the rest is just technicality. Take a minute or an hour to write that sentence. As long as it’s closest to communicating what you thought or felt then it’s worth the effort.
@TheBigN: I guess we aren’t ever free from expectation (be it our own or that of others). Either we make a formula and then expect ourselves to stay within it, or conversely actively avoid a formula and then feel pressured to mix it up all the time. I guess what I’m trying to say above is ‘do what you want and do it for yourself’. If constraints better you as a writer, then continue on. If variety helps you flourish then humour it as much as possible. A happy medium between the two? Lucky you. The expectations of /others/ is what needs to be discounted.
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May 19th, 20082:30 am at
Such is habit, and such is expectation. I really identify what Bateszi is doing, and all the “pseudo-twittering” as well.
Hige you are right about blogging the way we want, that is the way to go. Though drastically shifting style (ie episodic to a random mess) may have displeasing side effects, it is essentially something the writer must cope with, weight of readership vs weight of freely creative; decisions, decisions, decisions.
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May 20th, 200812:50 am at
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May 20th, 20083:57 pm at
Time and again, I’ll probably look back at this post, to serve as that constant reminder to refrain myself from setting those self-imposed standards as well. Right now, however, I’m finding myself in a multiple-blog-personality dilemma… and I’m starting to wonder about this noise-to-good posts ratio issue, with the serious posts + random fangurl stuff I post from time to time (which Ryan also mentioned in his comment) =.=; But in the end, it’s all about having fun, not succumbing to the pressures of other people, and all that I guess :)
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May 22nd, 20089:32 pm at
I find that self-imposed standards actually work in my favor quite well. How else would I be able to get away with not writing anything for months and months at a time?
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July 10th, 200810:11 am at
tl;dr
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